Blah

It's probably not the best idea to blog when you're crabby. And boy am I crabby. I lost my cell phone. To describe this as a small issue is probably an overstatement given how much I use my phone, but I am still incomprehensibly crabby all the same. That's because I hate to lose things. Don't get me wrong, I am no patron saint of my worldly possessions. I've been known to lose some major things in my time, but the thing is I AGONIZE over the loss for days, sometimes years. I've been known to get upset over losing an earring backing. I lost a necklace that someone gave me for my first communion when I was 22 years old, and I still get upset over it when I think about it. It may be the act of losing something more than the actual lose itself (although I mourn that necklace as much as my own stupidity if I am honest.) Losing something represents forgetfulness, lose of control, some sense of irresponsibility, and a measure of ungratefulness for what you have. Can you tell I am catholic? But it upsets me down to my core that I can and do lose things.

Back to the phone, I am fairly certain what may have transpired. I had the phone while grocery shopping with Lottie on Sunday. We had to go to Safeway after our TJs run because for some strange reason TJs does not carry garbage bags. Lottie walked in Safeway and I have a fairly good recollection that she asked for and I gave her my phone so she could "call" daddy. And that's the last I remember of the phone. Did she put it down somewhere and I failed to notice? Did I pocket it and lose it myself? Hard to say and of course Safeway says they don't have it. Ugh.

I am also crabby today because I've come to the realization that managing people is harder than managing yourself. Ok, so that's a no shit statement, but (and don't kill me for my arrogance) I have traditionally deluded myself into thinking that the manager whine about how hard a job it is was really just a whine. How hard is it to edit, attend meetings, and pretend to listen to people? But as I sat across from someone for the fourth time in a single day trying to explain to them that "there wasn't any there there" I was toast. Ready to yell, tear my hair out, or have a snack. I chose the last option which itself is defeating because I haven't emotionally eaten in ages. How is it that smart people can be so stupid? I cringe to think how many times my managers have thought the same of me. I've also begun to wonder if this little experiment is really worth what I thought it might get me, or perhaps better to say where it might get me professionally. Sadly not even Zumba was enough to break through the double dose of crabbiness.

So there's my little ray of sunshine on this Tuesday returning us to winter. I'll try and blog about something more cheerful next. We're heading to Snowshoe this weekend so at the very least, I should have some pictures again finally. That is, if I don't lose my camera before then!