Dammit!

Isabel was home sick from school last week. The stomach bug, which I, of course, caught literally 12 hours after Ryan boarded his plane for a 10 day business trip. But that's a story for another day. Ryan and I split the day that Izzy was sick and, despite the vomiting episode the night before, she was perfectly fine by the time I took over sick duty. So of course she and I went shopping. On the car ride over to World Market, Izzy was commenting on something and in the middle of her soliloquy, I distinctly heard her say "dammit." Like most moms, I was thrown for a loop for about a second and then asked her where she had learned that word. Visions of me driving or Ryan swearing at his never-ending house projects raced through my mind. Izzy, ever nonplussed, said "Oh my friends and I say it at school all the time." My reaction: relief. At least I could blame someone else for the parenting skills that lead to the bad language this time.

There are days that the whole parenting experience can be numbing, but I've been finding it a curious journey of self and small fry discovery lately. As Lottie was having one of her "demanding" episodes at bedtime the other night, I heard a fire engine siren off in the distance that was getting closer by the moment. Of course it was never as close as the wailing in the bedroom next door to mine. As I heard the dueling noises a little voice in my head was compelling me to tell Lottie that that siren was coming for her if she didn't pipe down. As soon as I thought it I was shocked and appalled that I thought it at all and that I thought it was funny. Memories of my own mom threatening me with the alligator at the bottom of the tub drain if I didn't get out came flooding back to me. It made me realize that all those "lofty aspirations" I had about what kind of parent I was going to be before I was a parent are really a bunch of horse poop. There's nothing like having a child of your own to help you get over yourself. We all go into the parenting experience with the best intentions and we all end up in the same place our parents were largely because we all need to survive with a shred of sanity and a sense of humor left to our names when it's all said and done.

Gosh I love my kids!